Remake and Remix, Extra Cheese.

It is an ugly trend, this compulsion to have 80s (or even older) music remixed into thumping, cheesy dance tracks. My lactose intolerance kicks in and so do the stomach cramps. I'd like to rip my ears off and feed them to the wolverines

It started with "Total Eclipse of the Heart." The original was cheesy enough, a power ballad by Bonnie Tyler. Nikki French felt it necessary to revisit this song, only at about 130+bpms. Searching the web, came across this and I quote,"Nikki French decided it was time to breath some life back into the old chart topper,and her dance club cover of Total Eclpise of the Heart can really liven up parties." WTF?!? I imagine if I put it on at a party, all conversations would come to a screeching halt as cats wailed out, crickets could be heard... and in the distance... a dog barked.

Next on the hit parade, we've got "Heaven" by DJ Sammy. Like fingernails on blackboards. You've also got "California Dreaming" and "Boys of Summer" to make me wretch. According to nzgirl, "If you like raves or techno music, don’t miss this album." Whew.. thankfully she didn't include circuit parties... otherwise I'd have to comply.

The latest steaming, hot serving of songs, better left in the past with unsolicited and unwarranted remixes, have got me wanting to drive directly into oncoming traffic. That's the only time I listen to the radio, hmmm.. that's a clue.

Next up, we've got "Call on Me" by Eric Prydz. It samples from Steve Winwood's song, "Valerie." Featured here.



Now how could I possibly resist the temptation of watching the specially packaged video for this song? It's the hottest video of year. Who am I to argue? and Who the f*ck are they to say?!? The sight of a female aerobics class, clad in one piece leotards and leg warmers, humping the floor. Boy... that's hot. So much so I want to jam flaming hot pokers into my ears while gouging my eyes out with a spoon. Why a spoon?, you say. Because it's dull.



"Listen to Your Heart" by Roxette?
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Sigh. I wish there was a greater reason for this rant, other than to get it off of my chest. Understandly, artists need to make a living, usually by whatever means necessary. In this day and age of digital music transfer and file sharing, they're not getting as much money as they used to. Let's face it... doing anything for the love of it... isn't putting food on the table... or a Mercedes in the garage.

From the standpoint of dance music, it's sad. The genre itself, doesn't have a great deal of mainstream appeal and credibility. Much of it, is billed as soulless, thumping repetitive beats. Add to it now... the cheese factor and the rehashed lyrics and samples of older, unimpressive songs and what do you have? Sure, It'll make money. It'll spawn more remakes, covers and remixes but it does nothing to evolve the genre or engender more fans, IMHO.

Back step to the generalization that most dance music is soulless, thumping and repetitive beats, I couldn't disagree more. Listening to it, I liken to listening to classical music. Good dance, be it house or it's many derivations, has so many layers and elements. It can inspire you to move and greater emotion... or it can soothe. A track that can get me crazy, can also put me at ease.