I've become THAT New Yorker.

You know the one. Frustrated with being put upon by people that are completely in their own world, smashing themselves, extremities and accouterments against me, I vocalize my discontent. "EXCUSE YOU!" I bark to the uncivilized barbarians. I've become ever prepared to sling a sarcastic and dripping "You're welcome," to any ingrate breezing through a door I've held open for them with nary an acknowledgment, as if I'M obligated to do so. No, this has never been my job asswipe. It takes all my will, not to allow the door to swing back with a little more push.



Moreover, I'm THAT New York commuter, too. I will yell, "STEP INTO THE TRAIN" to the morons who step on, only to remain in the doorway while people behind, stand looking incredulously, trying to get on. Elbows out when I have to step off of a subway and some yahoo has decided she, more times than not, it's a woman, that she needs to get on the train as I'm getting off, self-important bitch!

I'd fall over and die if I heard the words "Excuse me" at all on the subway, as most of the people, shoving and pushing are immigrants that haven't the slightest grasp of the English language. I'm ever so tempted to flash a badge, screaming "I.N.S.", and see how well they grasp that. However, I'm afraid that I'd be arrested since it'd be the modern version of screaming "Fire!" in a crowded room.

"Excuse You!" is ever at the ready when some spineless nitwit, wants to lean up against a pole which my hand has already been fastened to. My knuckles are out to firmly nudge into their ribs, saying "I'm here stupid."

Still, I would never think myself above minding my own manners. I will always say "Excuse me" to get by and say "I'm sorry" if I've affronted anyone. Like the lady on the 4 train, whom I accidentally wrapped my arm around her waist whilst maneuvering. Sorry. Meant nothing by it.

I'll still hold the door for people, as much as it may pain me when it's unrecognized. Even if the words "Excuse me" don't exist in your vocabulary, a smile would do. That's easy, isn't it?

But seriously, if you are an illegal alien and I'm not saying anyone is, nothing helps you blend in to a foreign environment better, than learning the local lingo. "Excuse me" and "I'm sorry" should be the first phrases you learn.
*end rant*