The World is Bigger Than Me.

The chatter in my brain had grown to a din. Work was ramping up into an uncontrolled mess. My emotions were spiraling out of control, barely containable. With the pressure around and within, my chest tightened. I felt closed in, trapped. The noise in my head, the ambient sound in the office were asphyxiating me.
Got to get out.
When an opportunity to break came, I ran.
Got to get out.
Jaw clenched, I grabbed my gym bag and headed for the elevator,.
GOT TO GET OUT!
Through the front door.
OUT! Thank goodness out.
I headed west for open air.
I had no intention of hitting the gym. My brain was fried and my body fatigued.
I snagged a sandwich and looked for a sunny, open space.
Settling into the middle area of NYU’s Silver Towers, I found a strip of sun, beaming between two of the buildings.
I sat and ate.
Maybe it was hunger, twisting my insides because damn, the sandwich was good.
The stillness between the towers drowned out the chatter in my head. I gained a momentary peace.
My stomach sated, I turned and faced the sun for a solar recharge.

My heart and thoughts calmed.

The street noise slipped away. I felt the weight of my surroundings, envelope me, bringing me to scale.

“The world is bigger than me.”

This singular thought spoke clearly in my head.

I felt relieved for the moment.
But I’d have to face myself again soon.