Rats with Wings.

In the past few months, some tree hugging hippie jackass has decided the local pigeons around the area are his/her pets. Taking the time to feed them, throwing bird seed down about 20 feet to one side of my driveway. Being creatures of habit, the pigeons have grown accustomed to finding food here. They've been perching on and around my building or the crisscrossing cable/utility wires nearby. This has made the immediate area in front of the house crap-fucking-tacular.

I swear this person feeding these pests, is a ninja. He/she slips in without anyone seeing and spills seed all over the sidewalk.

It happened this Saturday. I'd gotten home around 2PM from tennis and lunch. The sidewalk was clean. I'd gone up to sun on the roof and noticed the pigeons hanging about. I chased them away and having some further fun, I pulled out an old SuperSoaker®. I nearly grounded one with the first shot. From the roof I noticed the sidewalk was littered with birdseed. Raging, I went downstairs and swept the seed into the street and once back upstairs, printed signs which I hung on the tree and street pole, reading "DO NOT FEED THE BIRDS HERE!" I posted a message on the apartment building next door that asks if anyone was spotted feeding the pigeons, that they'd be told to stop. No hostility. Yet.

No recurrence of feeding on Sunday. It rained last night and my signs fell. This morning, I walked out of the house to find the sidewalk again, littered with birdseed. WTF!?

I've been seething all morning.

Searching the internet to find any ordinances in New York that prohibit the feeding of pigeons, since they are creating a public nuisance and potential health hazard. Nothing on the books, but there is a vague reference to being allowed to kill pigeons if they're damaging property. Also, I've found an interesting idea, I can get a trained hawk. That would be cool. I'd name it Killer for obvious reasons.

But no, I will get to the root of this problem and I WILL get to this person. Pigeons are NOT pets. They NOT cute and as far as I'm concerned, they are vermin. When, not if, but when I catch this person, oh the hate I'll unleash.